The main cause of global warming turned out to be a massive dumpster fire at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave Washington DC

WASHINGTON, DC – The world’s top climate change scientists have been shocked by the recent discovery that the primary cause of global warming is actually a massive ongoing dumpster fire located at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

“For decades, we simply assumed that methane-producing animals, deforestation and the burning of fossil fuels were combining to cause our planet to warm,” said Dr. Curt Schampers, chief climate scientist at the Greta Thunberg Institute in Stockholm. “Amazingly, the biggest cause of the global temperature rise in the world is really the hell raging in a dumpster at the White House. A ‘dumpster fire,’ as they say.”

The situation has only become more urgent over the past two years as the Biden administration has worked hard to burn the country down. “We initially thought it would be enough to burn down several major cities over the summer of 2020, but we quickly discovered that we could really make the flames roar if we progressed to burning the American flag and the Constitution itself. same,” White House spokeswoman Rachel Quezada said. . “As an added benefit, this gigantic dumpster fire we’ve built will only serve to help our cause for more environmental regulation and green energy scams, uh, I mean” solutions. “.”

At the time of publication, the scientific community was torn between trying to find a way to lessen the negative impact the Biden administration’s dumpster fire was having on Earth’s climate and simply roasting marshmallows and playing the violin Nero-style as the world continues to burn. their.

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Teresa H. Sadler